The Bible on money, as translated by Dubya

There can be little question that Bush's presidency has been one of the most overtly 'Christian' in history. Dubya's first act as President was to cut off funding to any family planning program that didn't teach abstinence. It may be tempting to dismiss the indicators as Rovian meddling, but the evidence is there in deed and rhetoric: Bush himself is a True Believer. But, we ask ourselves, if Bush's politics are based in a theology for which the only commandment more important than 'love others' is 'love God', how can he do the things he has done? Foreign wars aside, even Bush's domestic agenda has been less along the theme of 'give of thyself unto others' and more like 'be given unto'.

The answer is that there are conservative fiscal policies hidden in the Bible! I'm not joking, Jesus says some fairly inexplicable things sometimes. Foremost among them is a certain parable, and it may be the least preached parable in the Bible, that depicts a financial manager defrauding his boss - and getting praised for it. It's like Enron for the B.C. era. Here's the scripture, sourced from Luke 16. It's most often called 'The Parable of the Devious Manager':

1And he said also unto his disciples, There was a certain rich man, which had a steward; and the same was accused unto him that he had wasted his goods.

2And he called him, and said unto him, How is it that I hear this of thee? give an account of thy stewardship; for thou mayest be no longer steward.

3Then the steward said within himself, What shall I do? for my lord taketh away from me the stewardship: I cannot dig; to beg I am ashamed.

4I am resolved what to do, that, when I am put out of the stewardship, they may receive me into their houses.

5So he called every one of his lord's debtors unto him, and said unto the first, How much owest thou unto my lord?

6And he said, An hundred measures of oil. And he said unto him, Take thy bill, and sit down quickly, and write fifty.

7Then said he to another, And how much owest thou? And he said, An hundred measures of wheat. And he said unto him, Take thy bill, and write fourscore.

8And the lord commended the unjust steward, because he had done wisely: for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light.

9What I say to you is this: make friends for yourselves through your use of worldly goods, so that when they fail you, a lasting reception will be yours.

To recap: A man mishandles the company assets, so he's going to be fired. In retribution, he defrauds the company out of large portions of their assets by forgiving debts left and right. Instead of outrage, he gets congratulated! Reading sermons on the passage reveals a startling confusion among pastors as to how to approach this one. Most don't address its fundamental flaw: that it rewards dishonesty. They say things about using money to make spiritual friends, or about how all money is God's anyway. It's one of those scriptures that not many people talk about.

If the point is supposed to be that you cannot serve both God and money, I'm not sure that it's entirely clear. To me, it looks like a defense of corporate malfeasance. It's proof that Ken Lay was a God-fearing man. Bush seems to have taken the point to heart: he has frequently rewarded praise and favors to the... devious. Not just in financial matters: here for instance is justification for unwavering faith in Gonzalez, and for commuting the sentence in the Libby case. Bush is a God-fearing man, all right. Scant comfort.